Now that Jacob is a toddler, I feel like I've really hit my mothering stride. Being a mom to a baby was great, but this toddler thing is even better for me. He has been both so fun and very challenging lately, and his personality is really coming through. That personality has so many sides: sweet and tender, rambunctious like you wouldn't believe, and stubborn as all get out. He's an all-around ham that loves to be loved, and I love to love him.
Jacob has reached an age where he is needing more guidance and direction, and this happened so quickly it took me by surprise. The first time he threw a small fit because he didn't get something he wanted, I was shocked and just looked at him. I wasn't ready for it, I didn't know how to react, so I didn't. I took a deep breath, moved on with our day, and started preparing myself for this stage. I haven't always handled guiding him very gracefully, and sometimes I just get frustrated and give up on whatever it is we are trying to get accomplished. I'm working on this, because I know he can't dictate what our days will be like, but sometimes I get overwhelmed.
There are days that are hard and I just can't wait for them to be over. There are times that my heart feels like it's about to explode because I'm out running an errand and I look down and there is this little kid, MY kid, holding my hand walking alongside me. There are times when I feel a little bored with nowhere to go, and I take Jacob out to our backyard and find myself, two hours later, covered in muddy handprints and slobber and a smile that I can't wipe off my face.
This is the life for me. My little Jacob and me getting to know each other, me translating for others his little words that only I understand.
(To those that tell me, "Just you wait, the terrible twos are coming." or "Just you wait, so and so is about to happen." I tell you this: I get it. Tough times are going to come our way- they already have! While I "wait" for those times, I will wholly immerse myself into the times we're in now. I know that I have no idea what each stage will hold because I have never been a mom before. What I do know is that every stage will have it's ups and downs, and I'll have to remind myself to focus on the ups, even when it seems like there are more downs.)
// read more of my thoughts on motherhood here //
Wonderful post! I also am a mom to a toddler and find myself with these exact emotions you described in your post. I love reading something somewhere and thinking to myself, "Hey! That's exactly how I feel!" It's comforting to know someone else is having the same struggles and joys in life.
ReplyDeleteThank you also for your disclaimer at the end...It can be frustrating hearing that so often with regards to children's life stages. People say those things ALL THE TIME. I realize those people are trying to make a connection and give advice but I always feel they are discounting the experience that is happening now. As if the current struggle I'm having with my 2-year old isn't that big of a deal because things will be "much worse when he's three."
Thank you for your honest thoughts on motherhood. :)
Fellow Portlander and new reader of your blog,
-ellen
Your 'just you wait' comment reminded me of this post a friend of mine shared- http://katiewetherbee.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/joy-or-just-wait/
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for toddlerhood! Thank you for your frank and honest thoughts. :)
This post makes so much sense to me.
ReplyDeleteI love that moment when you realise you have a toddler, a little person of their own following you around, making you try some of their food and passing the phone to you to speak to the imaginary caller. We are having the tantrums too, but yet again it's not all bad as there are so many other great things that make up for them!
I can't wait for Theo to get older, yes the tantrums will get worse, but so many things will get better, like be able to have conversations, and play games and use paints (without them going in the mouth!)
I'm excited to see your journey into toddlerhood as it's so similar to mine!
I seem to have lost my comment so I'll try again.
ReplyDeleteI wish people would say more encouraging things about the stages you are approaching. We heard so many negative comments about getting married and getting married young, then it's having a newborn, or having 3 and being out-numbered by kids,or the terrible twos and threes (I cringe at those words) or an eye-roll about pre-teen drama, or just wait until they become teenagers. I always remember being at the grocery store buying thing for Jessamyn's 13th birthday. so excited, and all these people stared saying "poor you, you're in for it now,etc" I love having teenagers and I try to tell people that!
Yes, there are challenging times, and many hard days when you are raising a family. But the joy outweighs those by far and there is grace for our mistakes and they are secure because they know they are loved. You will have the wisdom you need for each stage and hopefully someday be able to tell another mama what she has to look forward to, instead of how "terrible" it will be! Love you!
Alyssa, your kids are amazing. I always tell Josh that I want my teenagers to be like yours!
DeleteI wish more people were encouraging, too. I think they mean well and try to come off as sympathetic, but it's just not necessary!
Ditto to what Alyssa said! It seems to start when you're pregnant and everyone wants to tell you their horrible labor story or about how much more tired you'll be AFTER the baby is born. What about all the joy you have to look forward to? Isn't that what people should be telling new mamas? You are a great mama.
ReplyDeleteI ran across this article recently and really appreciated her perspective as well. Anything worth doing well is going to be hard at times, and not always enjoyable. Including raising kids! Love you!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
Oh, Beca, I LOVE that article. I actually wrote a really long post about it one night but accidentally deleted it. It's so true!
DeleteI remember being surprised by how many people "warned" me about being a new mom rather than share the excitement with me. At least we have families that love babies, huh?
love you, too!
you are one of my most favorite people! also, one of my most favorite mamas, always knocking my socks of with your wisdom, intent, patience and sense of humor. i would like more annie/sarah time please!
ReplyDeleteI love you!
Delete*off, not of ;)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your little note at the bottom, it makes me sad when other moms tell me to "just you wait till so and so" and I am like yeah Judah has tantrums, just today with him taking the childproof things out of the wall socket and tearing up my vintage chair. But after I told him that the wall sockets were dangerous and I asked him not to eat the stuffing in the chair. I had to laugh. I mean my kid knows how to take out child proof things from the wall that I can barely take out. So I took my feisty toddler to the park, we sat and watched (he screamed at) dogs at the dog park for an hour, I let him try to break into the baseball field and let him run around the field like he was in charge. It was fun.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your little note at the bottom, it makes me sad when other moms tell me to "just you wait till so and so" and I am like yeah Judah has tantrums, just today with him taking the childproof things out of the wall socket and tearing up my vintage chair. But after I told him that the wall sockets were dangerous and I asked him not to eat the stuffing in the chair. I had to laugh. I mean my kid knows how to take out child proof things from the wall that I can barely take out. So I took my feisty toddler to the park, we sat and watched (he screamed at) dogs at the dog park for an hour, I let him try to break into the baseball field and let him run around the field like he was in charge. It was fun.
ReplyDeleteah! your blog is so dang cute. veda designs does wonderful (that's how i found you). beautiful. your little guy is adorable!
ReplyDeleteI posted a video about just this topic on my blog today. its short, only 2 minutes, and I think every mother should watch it. Talk about HEART MELTING :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amommasdesiresandpacifiers.com/