a toddler's mom
Now that Jacob is a toddler, I feel like I've really hit my mothering stride. Being a mom to a baby was great, but this toddler thing is even better for me. He has been both so fun and very challenging lately, and his personality is really coming through. That personality has so many sides: sweet and tender, rambunctious like you wouldn't believe, and stubborn as all get out. He's an all-around ham that loves to be loved, and I love to love him.
Jacob has reached an age where he is needing more guidance and direction, and this happened so quickly it took me by surprise. The first time he threw a small fit because he didn't get something he wanted, I was shocked and just looked at him. I wasn't ready for it, I didn't know how to react, so I didn't. I took a deep breath, moved on with our day, and started preparing myself for this stage. I haven't always handled guiding him very gracefully, and sometimes I just get frustrated and give up on whatever it is we are trying to get accomplished. I'm working on this, because I know he can't dictate what our days will be like, but sometimes I get overwhelmed.
There are days that are hard and I just can't wait for them to be over. There are times that my heart feels like it's about to explode because I'm out running an errand and I look down and there is this little kid, MY kid, holding my hand walking alongside me. There are times when I feel a little bored with nowhere to go, and I take Jacob out to our backyard and find myself, two hours later, covered in muddy handprints and slobber and a smile that I can't wipe off my face.
This is the life for me. My little Jacob and me getting to know each other, me translating for others his little words that only I understand.
(To those that tell me, "Just you wait, the terrible twos are coming." or "Just you wait, so and so is about to happen." I tell you this: I get it. Tough times are going to come our way- they already have! While I "wait" for those times, I will wholly immerse myself into the times we're in now. I know that I have no idea what each stage will hold because I have never been a mom before. What I do know is that every stage will have it's ups and downs, and I'll have to remind myself to focus on the ups, even when it seems like there are more downs.)
// read more of my thoughts on motherhood here //